Well, one adventure is done. I’m back in the land of homework, nice notes, and ice cream--- My days of craving English, a simple hug, or a glass of skim milk are just memories. It’s amazing how adaptable we are as humans. Ukraine sometimes seems like a distant dream - it undeniably happened, and yet life goes on the way it always has. I almost get so swept up in the sameness and routine-ness of life in Provo that I forget... almost.
When people find out about my last 6 months, they always want to hear all about it. Which is absolutely next to impossible. So many things happened in Ukraine, I couldn’t even cohesively organize them if I wanted to. And so, I often default to the basic summary: It was a wonderfully-difficult experience. One of the hardest and yet most meaningful times of my life.
And then, the recurring question is always: “Would you do it again?”
Which always makes me pause.
I will forever treasure the opportunities I had, the friendships I made, and the insights I gained while living in Ukraine. I feel that today, I wake up with a greater appreciation of just how blessed and comfortable my life is. I’m thankful to actually have a bed. I’m thankful that I can get into a car - my car- drive 15 minutes, get on a plane, and be home in an hour. I’m thankful to be able to fully communicate with most everyone I meet. I’m thankful for the ability to choose my future and work towards goals. I’m thankful for the grocery stores. I’m thankful to be back at school, learning. I’m thankful that I can call my family at the drop of the hat and not worry about calculating a nine hour time difference. I’m thankful to have my personal space in public :)
I saw a completely different view of the world while I was in Ukraine, and I think it’s something I needed to see.
I learned so much about myself as a person and my relationship with my Heavenly Father. I learned more about choosing happiness – that circumstances really don’t determine happiness, it’s a CHOICE. I learned to adore a group of people that were so different from me. I learned to see the beauty in life – even if it’s just the sun on my face. I grew to love those little Ukrainian children who I taught, and it kills me to think that they may not remember me. But I will ALWAYS remember them and their sweet hearts.
I’m so so thankful that I went and experienced all that I did.
And yet at the same time, Ukraine was one of the most difficult times in my life - I’ve never been so heartbreakingly lonely, so legitimately scared for my safety, so sick, and so uncomfortable. I repeatedly found myself in situations that just don’t happen in my normal life - that just SHOULDN’T happen to anyone. So many times -literally- my only option for survival was prayer. I feel that while I was in Ukraine, I was pushing my luck, every day. I was pushed to the brink, and then a little beyond.
But I did survive :) and I even loved it. I wouldn’t take back my experience, for anything (but I definitely would change how some things went down!).
So would I do it again? I guess, after a lot of consideration, yes I would. Because for the most part, the good outweighed the bad. And those children and the travel made it all worthwhile.
Ukraine truly opened my eyes to the dichotomy of life. I experienced so much joy and happiness and yet so much heartache and fear. But it was good for me. I hope it changed me, permanently. If nothing else, I’ve got stories to tell :)
So here’s to future adventures... because I’m sure there will be many :)))
