Have you noticed that vacations have this weird ability
to feel so long and yet way too short?
Like it was years ago when you left, but the time there passed much too
quickly? I guess it just goes to show
that the theory of relativity is alive and well :)
This past week, I had the much-needed opportunity to
travel to Poland and spend a few short and wonderful days touring the city,
eating sooooo much delicious food, shopping like a mad woman, seeing some incredible
sites and monuments, and just having a general good time. It was so nice to get out of Kiev, explore a
new city, and experience a new culture.
And let me say, I’m a big fan of Poland.
I never expected to like it nearly as much as I did. The only thing that would have made it better
would have been if I had “randomly” run in to one of my favorite roommates,
Amy, who is serving a mission in Poland.
No such luck. But I don’t really
know if I would have had the guts to try to see her :) Anyways, back to Poland…
if I could stay and teach in Krakow, I definitely would (unless I could teach
in Germany or Switzerland… then I’d really jump ship). It had a much more ‘clean European feel’
(which I LOVE), that I don’t always feel in Kyiv. The parks were gorgeous, the city was easy to
navigate, the people all SMILED AND WERE OPENLY FRIENDLY (!!!!), the food was
to die for, and the history, while heartbreaking, is so critical to my identity
as a human being.
By far, the most memorable experience I had this past
week was visiting the two concentration camps at Auschwitz and Birkenau. I don’t even know how to summarize or even
express how I felt while visiting Auschwitz.
With equal parts reverence, horror, love, anger, awe, and despair, I saw
what remains of the horrific and famous concentration camp. Although the land and camp itself are
aesthetically beautiful nowadays (except for the double barbed wire fences
surrounding the area, it was actually quite picturesque with green trees and rolling
countryside around), it was appalling to think of its history and purpose. As I witnessed some of the horror that was
the camp at Auschwitz, it was next to impossible for me to fathom how a person
could be so callous and cold so as to be able to murder thousands of men,
women, and children. In one day. How did their hearts not scream each time
they helped fulfill the Nazi regime’s commands?
Maybe they did. I hope they
did. I wish they could have stopped it
before it started. I know this has been
said, but I hope and pray that I would have had the courage to say no--- to
look past the falsities, the propaganda, the hatred and really love a human
being simply for being a human being. I hope, I pray.
And I know this is probably naive, but I also found
myself thinking that it would have been so much easier for an individual Jew to
deny to their faith and heritage. To
save themselves, their family. (And then
I wonder if I would have had the same faith, conviction, and courage. Once again, I hope and pray that I
would. I hope that I would not deny all
that I am, all that I value, all that I know.)
I wonder if any of them did, or tried to. Even though that probably wouldn’t have saved
them. But to stand with courage and
accept the hatred and torture simply because of their faith and their
heritage? That’s where the awe,
reverence, and love come into my experience.
I was overwhelmed with a love and sorrow for the thousands of human
beings who were imprisoned, tortured, and killed within this ‘camp’s’ walls. No
human being deserves that kind of treatment.
No animal deserves that kind of treatment. And maybe that’s how it all happened. I believe that the Jews must have become so
dehumanized in the eyes of the Nazis and Nazi supporters that they were viewed
as something much less than a human; something that didn’t deserve their love
or even their concern. That they were
something that was ok to kill by the thousands.
The most heart wrenching exhibit within Auschwitz was one
room filled with the actual hair that was shaved off of the prisoners upon
their arrival at Auschwitz all those years ago.
The hair on display was only a small percentage of the hair that was
collected, and yet it still filled the room.
It physically made me nauseous to see.
As superficial as it may be, as a girl, hair is so much of a part of my physical
identity, and to see so much hair brutally removed and set aside, waiting to be
woven into blankets horrified me. Everything
was taken from these human beings, even down to the hair that grew on their heads. How could one be so cruel?
After Auschwitz, I then travelled the short distance to
Birkenau. Birkenau is mostly demolished
– only a few buildings stand in their entirety.
However, the hundreds of brick chimneys that were in each building still
stand like a skeleton of the monster that was there. These chimneys go on for what seems like
miles. They are a hauntingly large
reminder of the terror that must have been felt by each of the prisoners. The
remains of two of the gas chambers also survive, surrounded by a monument. It was truly shocking to see the size. Unimaginable to think of it filled with human
beings. Terrifying.
I will forever remember Auschwitz and Birkenau. I hope that I will remember just how out of
control a group of people can get and make sure that I always make decisions
that are MY decisions and that I know are right. I must make sure to love every person, even
if for no other reason than the fact that they are a person, and hopefully for
the thousand other reasons too.
And after that, I have almost no way to transition. So I’m just going to change topics. Krakow.
Krakow, like I said, was wonderful, I really loved it. I got the chance to do so much there… once
again, I’m not even going to try to summarize it. The highlights will have to do.
The city felt much more like a European city than Kiev---
pretty buildings, random streets, and tons of cute cafes. It was so nice to just walk around and see
the history and the people. Everyone was
so nice too! (AND… drum roll please… the
cars even STOPPED to let you cross in the crosswalk! That NEVER happens here in Kyiv. You literally have to run in between cars to
ever make it across the road--- I feel like a real life, high-stakes, frogger
game every day!). The city was also very
culturally rich - there were a couple of beautiful cathedrals, an impressive
castle complex, and a gorgeous square downtown.
It really is a perfect little city.
Being a girl and living with a bunch of girls really
helps bring out the girly side of life.
So, in keeping with sounding like a complete girl, I have to say - the
shopping was so fun :) They had this mall called the Galeria Krakow, and it was
neat to just wander and stop in so many cute shops. It really felt like I was back in America
again! But, even more fun than the mall
was Old Town Krakow. So many cute and
random shops to get lost in! To top it
off, in the central square they had this indoor hallway that was full of booths
on each side. All of us girls bought
amber rings and souvenirs for our families.
It felt like a classy Mexico :)
My favorite part of my time in Krakow (other than
Auschwitz) was the opportunity I had to see the city from a bike. On our last day there, a big group of us
rented these cute old cruiser bikes with bike bells and just toured the
city. I loved it. Like a little flock of geese, we pedaled
around the busy streets of Old Town, climbed the hill to the castle, and just
enjoyed life. It was so fun!
But, let’s be honest, this trip wasn’t all
relaxation. At all. In fact, I literally didn’t sleep the first
two nights, compliments of a Ukrainian overnight train and then an overnight
bus-ride across into Poland.
Yuck-o.
The train. Well,
let’s just say, if I never have to spend a night on one of those again, I will
die happy. At first I was really excited
--- a cool train to a new city, all in a bunk bed? Awesome. But then the stinky (literally) truth hit
me. Let’s just say that being jammed
into a bunk bed that is much too short for my body on a train that is
sweltering hot next to a nude, snoring man isn’t really ideal conditions for
sleep. Haha. But, in all fairness, it did get me
there. So I guess I shouldn’t rag on it too
much… but, seriously, I don’t ever want to do that again. One time was WAY enough for me! Luckily we flew back to Kyiv from Poland so I
didn’t have to relive the horrors :) jk.
All in all, it really was a wonderful trip. I may have come back more exhausted than I
left, but it was completely worth it. So
wonderful :) It just made me feel good
to get out and live!
In a psychology class that I took about a year ago, the
teacher made a big deal of achieving and recognizing a “sense of well
being.” When I am home in America, I
believe that because this general sense of well being is fairly constant in my
life, I don’t recognize it as poignantly.
I am fairly consistently happy and secure at home. However, being in Ukraine has stripped me of this
sense of security. I’m still very happy,
but life is very different for me now. And,
in an odd way, I am thankful for that. This
complete change has really caused me to consider my life as I know it. I find myself constantly making lists in my
head of things, people, and places that I’ll be so thankful to see again when I
go home, ranging from the trivial to the serious. For example – “when I go home, I’m going to
sit myself down and really enjoy a cup of cold cereal, dangit!” Or “When I go
home, I’m going to be so thankful for my sheets and my bed.” Or “I just can’t
wait to give my parents a hug and tell them again how much they mean to me.”
Anyways, back to what I was originally going to
write. While I have been in Ukraine, and
especially during my time in Poland, I have been struck at random moments with
a resounding sense of “well-being.”
Whether it be when I’m walking by myself after successfully navigating
the metro or matschrutka, or when I’m riding my bike through the town square,
or when I’m enjoying a surprisingly sunny afternoon, this sense of ‘well-being’
creeps up on me, and it almost brings me to tears. Life is good to me, and I worry that I don’t
always appreciate it as much as I should.
Thank you Ukraine and Poland, if for nothing else, making me realize
more fully how wonderful life can really be - each and every day.
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